If you play cricket for Chiddingfold, there's a good chance that you'll be mentioned in this section. Please note; Those with any sort of dignity beware - The following material may offend, please do not proceed if you would like your ego to stay in tact........Other than that read on and enjoy!!

Chiddingfold born and bred, Nick returns for his 3rd (or is it the 4th or 5th) spell at the Club. After a professional career at Camberley was cut short by that re-occuring hamstring injury, and he managed to get his picture in as many other clubs winning team photo's as possible - he is back as our first team all-rounder. Although he Enjoys the music of Queen, Erasure and drinks Bacardi Breezers - he's not that bad a cricketer!! Will almost definately walk away with the batting averages, as he is a specialist in being Not Out for 20 something about 10 times a season.

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Spelling Wizard & Weak Shandy Drinker.

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HUULLLOOOO! Now a seasoned professional with Chidd, this plucky all-rounder intends on making a striking impression with both bat and ball this year. If you ever need any expert advice on matters concerning loam - Matt's you're man. "What's the matter, Too spicey for you?!"

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Bit of an Animal.

Has recently served as Club Chairman and second team skipper, and continues to play as an attacking batsman, and is one of the Clubs best and most athletic fielders.

Right Hand Bat.

Proudly named as the Chairman's 2005 shower buddy. What a disgrace! This unfriendly and bad mouthed individual is the kind of person that gives Chiddingfold CC a bad name. Abusive to players (of both sides) and umpires alike, he bats with a technique that you could shoot peas through and his bowling at Chidd means that the house insurance premiums of properties around the ground increase dramatically in the summer months. His captaincy meant a previously championship winning side were relegated - and he thought that was funny. Oh, and he hates Christmas.

Left Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Right Old W***er, Wicketkeeper.

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This young man is one of the Clubs fully qualified, ECB Official Coaches. He specialises in fielding, of which he is one of the Clubs best. Has worked with some of the other top stoppers and catchers in the Club - and it is under his tuitoring that Paul Whitty and John Webster learnt to throw!

Right Hand Bat, Club Coach.

Another product of our nations finest University (no, not Northampton), this young bowler burst on to the scene last year and duely bagged the bowling averages. Weighing in at 3 and a half stone, T.C has to be teathered to the fence when fielding, if the wind gets above a force 3. He posseses in his repetoir an ace slower ball which has been the downfall of many a batsman.

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

New to Chiddingfold Cricket Club, got into the 2nds this year through some flimsy family tie with the skipper! Already proved a valuable member of the team, especially with the bat and in the field.

Right Hand Bat, Safe Pair of Hands.

Jules has played for Chidd for over 15 years, and in that time has made many a stylish score with the bat and taken plenty of wickets with his Right Arm spinners. Has also played with a broken ankle, broken finger and dislocated digits - Now that's commitment.

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

New to the club last season, Mark can't stop scoring runs. A good return last year has been followed up this season by setting a new club record by scoring 188 not out in a league match for the 2's, and when he opened for the 1's he made it look easy making a classy 70 - and that was on one of Mr. Watt's tracks!

Left Hand Bat, Can't Remember Which Hand He Bowls With.

Another of the All Hallows tribe, Pete represents the more sensible side of the clan. A keen batsman and an effective fielder, Galer is a committed member of the club, and a great "After Stella" Speaker! However, there are worries that his obession with asparagus may interfere with his cricket.

Right Hand Bat.

Left Arm Spin Bowler.

Slip from a different Gravy.

Can't bat.

Formerly known as "The future of the club", his status has been downgraded following his public failure at the MCC prior toChristmas. The committee have decided they will not tolerate failure and wish him well at his new club.

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

What can you say? Club legend with bat and ball, a consistent top-order batsman and a prize left arm slow bowler - especially from the pavillion end when the sun is setting! In his own words, "You can't keep me out of the game." Mick holds the club record for falling over the most times during fielding. Mick is also available for all your window, doors and conservatory needs on 01428 723 117!!

Right Hand Bat, Left Arm Bowler.

Clauss is this years first team captain - and after a succesful season as sunday skipper last time round, hopes are high. Never call him Nicky - as he hates it. Nicky has the ability to bowl that wonder delivery that would get rid of the world's best. As a quick bowler, he is not a fan of short pitched bowling. His repetoir mainly consists of: the "bouncer", the "bumper", the "short one", the "chin ball" and of course the "long hop". Now he likes to think of himself as a spinner, specialising in "the arm" ball and the "straight one". Scored a dazzling maiden century last year, hitting more sixes than fours. If you would like to know more about this model professional - just ask him, and he'll let you look through his paper cuttings that he keeps in his wallet!

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Compulsive Gambler.

Heads-up our Cambridge brigade, and helps add a little class to us heathens. At last count, had an IQ of 278 - and is invaluable when you need to know the required run rate to 9 decimal places. Renowned for his perfection and love of the reverse sweep, Howeller could actually be classed as a right handed batsman, and continues to challenge opposing captains with their field placings. A little known fact is that this talented all-rounder also specializes in fence demolition (Lynchmere CC). "Shut it Poly Boy"!!

Left Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Chain Smoker.

If he's not working at Robert stores or bombing around on his new moped, Ben is one of the villages best young all-rounders. Catches or stops anything that comes his way when fielding - he is another great young prospect. Apparently the club had to get his cap specially made: Extra Extra Small!

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

Bill is an accomplished opening batsman, ex-right arm quickie and able wicketkeeper (when his knees allow!) Now spends most of his spare time on our ground preparing some of the best tracks in the league. Loved by Batsmen, Hated by Bowlers!!

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm (express pace) Bowler, Wicketkeeper, Drives a Roller (Get it?!)

Mazza is the clubs expert on batting stances. He is a classy batsman when he wants to be, and is also an effective fielder. Even though he is no longer a Tax dodging student, he still can't afford socks, whites, cricket boots or more importantly rounds of drinks. Has been known to hide an extra plate of sandwiches at tea, to eat after the game! A pretty-boy pro footballer, he uses at least 5 hair products at the same time. Is currently working on the new "Stump Cam" project!

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

Will is another of our 'Nipper' contingient, and has already proved his quality with both bat, ball and with his wicketkeeping. Is renowned for his exercises when going out to bat and is a die-hard Alderhot F.C fan.

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Wicketkeeper.

Ex - All Hallows lot, now posh prep school teacher. This highly dedicated and committed player will alaways be there...... unless he's away coaching, or on holiday, or on a school trip, or Wimbledon are playing.....!! An attacking batsmen, his innings are based around patience and control, until he forgets what sport he's playing and takes a 9-iron to deep mid-wicket! This years opening bat/pinch hitter - always in control.

Right Hand Bat, Wicketkeeper, Power-Boat Driver.

The new fresh face of Chiddingfold CC, Tom completes the Cambridge trio. He will surely challenge Mariner for tart of the year, as he spent the majority of last years dinner and dance chatting up the bar maids - and can be seen on a recent TV ad for Smash Hits.

Crossed batted Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

Another relatively new player with Chidd, at the time of going to press has a batting average of about 300 - he has made more than a few big scores already. Can normally be found lying on one of the benches before a game, with sunglasses on and complaining of a lack of sleep. He'll fit in well at Chidd!

Right Hand Bat.

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After spending most of last summer in the Big Brother house, P.J represents the more glamorous side of the club. Life outside reality TV has made Dave a more applied batsman, getting a personal best of 88 in the last game of last season. He has used his celebrity status well - managing to land a job at All Hallows School, as Webbo's boss!

Right Hand Bat, Wind Machine, D-List Celeb.

After an absence of nearly 10 years, the wannabe Northern monkey has at laaaast donned his whites and rekindled his career with Chidd. In his first game back, spice went paaaast the bat several times in a bowling spell which ended with figures of 4 for 3 - What a jammy baaaastard!! Oh, and what anew haircut.....

Right Hand Bowler, Right Hand Bat, Loves Hot Baaaaths and Faaaast Cars.

Russ was an aquisition from Milford a few years back, and opens the bowling for the first team. Renowned for his calm, quiet and respectful nature as a bowler, you will often hear him making polite conversation with batsmen who have had the audacity to score runs off him. An excellent provider of shower gel, shampoo, body spray, hair gel, styling wax and an assortment of many other various toiletries.

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

On his day one of the most destructive batsmen in the club. He is also the second team wicketkeeper - and specializes in freak dismissals. Many have witnessed catches taken between the legs, stumpings off the belly and of course the trademark levelling of all 3 stumps during run-out attempts!!

Right Hand Bat, Wicketkeeper.

The youngest member of the Thorpe gang (to date) to play cricket for the mighty Chiddingfold 2nd XI........has "Bob" following in her wake on the modelling scene but heh there's time yet if Harvard doesn't work out!

This years second team skipper and now proud club sponsor. This incredibly talented, generous, intelligent and generally bloody good bloke is also a cricketing magician with both bat and ball. Now that I have secured my Christmas bonus and removed my tongue........ The ex-northerner hopes to lead his troops back into division 4, and when he does, no doubt he'll be at the bar getting the drinks in with the money he saves by under paying his staff!

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.

   "Do you know who I am?!!!"

Chiddingfold's very own bad boy! He actually attacked our camera man shortly after we tried to take his picture. General layabout, lager lout and hell-raiser - Wattsy IS Chiddingfold Cricket Club. His "Golden Arm" bowling has saved our bacon on many occassions and "copycats" have attempted to mimick his unique batting style, without success - but we'll keep trying!! Sponsored by wrigley's, a great person to be standing next to in the field as a provider of gum. If you want to contact Wattsy - you'll catch him leaving his house at about midday (mon-fri) on his way to work!

Left Hand Bat, Left Arm Bowler, Chilian Dealer.

Our very own Jim Courier look-a-like. He is the link between the Cricket Club and All Hallows School. He is also a hard hitting attacking batsman of the highest calibre - last year managing to hit 3 boundaries!! In the field he is our "I'm not afraid of anything, and I'll stand as close to the batsman as I damn well can" man. He has been hit more times fielding in close than Howeller's had hot dinners - and specialises in winding up opposing batsmen and Stevie Wonder Impressions! John is also the only player in the club required to wear factor 50 sun-block in the moonlight or during Total eclipses.

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Nutter Fielder.

This fine athlete brings to the Club his wealth of cricketing experience, a style of batting that challenges the text books and he makes a cracking tea. Now also the Club Treasurer, Whitts eats, sleeps, breathes Chiddingfold Cricket Club and has a commitment that is second to none. Word on the street is that over the winter Paul has been working on his throwing arm - under the guidance of Pete "The Claw" Castle - Awesome!

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler, Left Handed Tea Pourer.

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Our resident tennis pro. Famed for having the hairiest chest on the entire planet. Has scored a century with 29 scoring shots - namely the forehand drive, the backhand pull and the over-head smash! Achieved a maximum 147 break at home against Elstead a few years back - "break" being the perfect word, as he single handly broke 21 tiles, 3 windows and a car in the process!

Right Hand Bat.

This years second team vice-captain, Marhesh is one of the teams genuine all-rounders. His Dad infamously gave him out lbw, second ball away at Frensham!

Right Hand Bat, Right Arm Bowler.